Parent Resource Center
Resisting peer pressure takes practice. Use this exercise to help prepare your child for tough situations.
"Peer pressure feels like having a spotlight shined on you in a big
crowd," says Logan, 17, from Michigan.
"You need to make a
decision quickly and you don't know what to do."
Your child may find himself in that harsh spotlight many times during adolescence. To help him prepare for tough decisions, do this exercise together. It's designed as a discussion starter. There's more than one right answer.
Start with the following problems which give some conclusions you and your child might reach. Then do the exercises in the box. As you work through them, discuss:
The setup. Review the situation.
The deal. Discuss the pros and cons of going along.
Conclusion. Decide on the appropriate action.
What you could say. Talk about graceful ways to address the situation.
Remind your child that if his friends do get angry, their anger will probably pass quickly. If it doesn't, then they're not good friends.
The setup. Your girlfriend wants a ride to the mall, but you only have a learner's permit. Should you drive her alone?
The deal. If you do it, you might look cool and get to spend time with her. But it's illegal and dangerous. If you get caught, you could lose your permit and not be able to get your license.
Conclusion. It's not worth the risk.
What you could say. "For now, I can only drive if a parent is in the car. My mom can give us a ride." Or, "It's gonna be great when I get my license. Then I can take you places. If I lose my permit, I won't get my license for a long time."
The setup. One of your best friends has started smoking, and some of your other friends are leaning on you to pressure him to quit.
The deal. If you talk to your friend, he may see that you have his best interests in mind and think you're a good friend. Or, he might not appreciate you bugging him about it. If you don't, his health is at risk. And your other friends might lose respect for you.
Conclusion. It's worth the risk to lean on your friend to stop smoking.
What you could say. The facts approach: "Why are you smoking, anyway? Don't you know it's bad for you? You can get hooked really quickly. You're just wasting your money." Or the teasing-but-true approach: "That stuff reeks. Nobody will kiss you if you smoke."
Text in this section from: Peer pressure & smoking (2005)
