Parent Resource Center
Recognize that simply telling kids "just say no" probably won't work. Focus on giving your children the confidence and social skills they need to be able to resist social pressure without ruining a friendship.
Listen to your teens, even if you disagree with them. If you belittle their opinions or dismiss their problems, they'll stop talking to you. Instead, acknowledge their feelings and help them think through the different ways they might respond.
Prepare teens to deal with pressures by discussing the types of sticky situations they might confront in the future. Role-playing can be useful here. Ask your kids questions like "What would you say if your best friend offered you a cigarette?" or "How can you avoid getting into a car with someone who's been drinking?" Practicing specific things to say or do if they are encouraged to smoke can increase their self-confidence.
Acknowledge to your kids that they may face tough situations. They don't want to risk destroying a friendship or seeming "uncool." They may also have practical concerns like how to get home when their driver has been drinking.
Encourage your children to get involved in adult-supervised after-school activities where they can practice social skills and perhaps find more nonsmoking friends .
Unfortunately, many of the social pressures our kids face aren't good. We should expect them to make a few bad decisions. That's normal. But remember, children often learn more by recovering from their social mistakes and by analyzing what they did wrong, than by making the right decision the first time.
Next Topic: Raising Resilient KidsText in this section from: Raising kids who don't smoke (2005)
